“HONEY”“WHAT”“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”“WHAT”“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”“WHAT?!”“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”“I NEED THEM”“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”

“HONEY”

“WHAT”

“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”

“WHAT”

“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”

“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”

“WHAT?!”

“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”

“I NEED THEM

“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”

“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”

“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”

“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”

“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”

2wentyonepilots:

when u overhear someone talking about fob

image

basedgosh:

when you meet a bunch of relatives who claim to remember you
image

beyoncebeytwice:

can someone invent a candle that smells like a blown out candle

helenas-hood:

gllob:

a homeless guy just said to me “do you tell jokes to make people laugh or to make people think you’re funny” and that is the most profound shit ive ever experienced

I asked my old science teacher this and he said “I make jokes to make myself laugh because I know I’m funny.”

safetytank:

i mISTOOK THE POLE CAP FOR PART OF ITS FACE

safetytank:

i mISTOOK THE POLE CAP FOR PART OF ITS FACE


Eclipse by (A4Size)

Eclipse by (A4Size)

sluttyoliveoil:

lliampayne:

one time at starbucks on my cup they wrote “fuck i can’t remember your name”

one time on my cup they wrote “you made this up for notes”

sillylester:

Language used during mortal combat (x)

sillylester:

Language used during mortal combat (x)

creak:

following back tons

creak:

following back tons